Rory's Pre-Pitch Notes

Good job on the pre-pitch everyone. I figured it wouldn’t hurt to post any notes we may have taken during the discussion with Natalie; she had some good suggestions that could really work for our story. Also, when she was explaining what our final pitch could include I made a quick list… apparently there was an example on the server all along, so I guess we should check that out too.

Notes:

- Mark suggests using the touch of death – I thought this might be something subtle to include right before ES pushes off down the ramp – perhaps Death gives him a supportive pat on the shoulder.

- Death’s Motivation needs more clarification – THIS IS THE BIG ONE – In the first sequence in ES’s apartment we need to establish their relationship to explain why Death’s position changes. He is comfortable living with ES and he never really thought it would end – he has long since given up on Steve ever finishing the contraption that will bring an end to their time together. Relationship: Old Couple, Show how much death cares for ES (perhaps Death puts out the fire on ES’s model after he has run off in excitement?) Dialogue both while ES is working on the model, and after he is finished, could help define their relationship. Death - internal conflict between his job and his personal feelings.

(Some ideas: Missing jumping-pants; Toilet seat left up –“you know I like to sit while I urinate!”; trophies – remember how you did this and that, you don’t need to prove anything; a pivotal character moment where Death realizes what the completion of the contraption really means; Death’s increasing concern about the jump (now that it is a reality); Stevil is confused as to why Death all of a sudden doesn’t want him to jump – the relationship is one way.)

- The Jump Contraption needs to be developed. We already decided to have a meeting about this on Thurs. Natalie suggested Heath Robinson as a reference for crazy contraptions. *Remember the jump took decades for ES to work out.

Presentation improvement:

Generally she said the work was good, we just need to focus in and use only the drawings that represent where we are now (less is more, quality over quantity etc). This is going to mean that we need to make some decisions about what to keep, what to change, and what we still need to do, so we should probably have a meeting about this. (Oh yeah, and we need to watch for typos and our time limit! Hehe... don't they know animation students can’t spell or tell time!)

Specifically the pitch should probably include (AT LEAST):

- A Title Page.

- 4-8 polished storytelling beats.

- Research - characters, jump, 60's atmosphere, etc.

- 1 page of Evil Stevil design

- 1 page of Death design

- 1 page of Evil Stevil/Death relationship development

- 1 page apartment design, with props: trophies, pictures, TV etc.

- 1 page of MODEL jump contraption design

- 1 page wheelchair design

- 1 page FINAL JUMP location design

- 1 page Crowd designs

- 1 page podium design – swimsuit models, trophy, stage etc.

- 1 page Crazy Cooter and his apartment design

Ultimately as heads of story and design Frank and Nabs are the ones to decide how to best handle all of this, but I thought I'd just get the info out there for everyone to mull over.